Two of my favorites are:

"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field
somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all
God cares about. But any fool living in the world can see it is always
trying to please us back." ~Alice Walker

And

"The beauty of polytheism is that if god tells you to blow something up, you can get a second opinion."

This was actually a comment one youtube, but I can't remember who said it.